2018 thoughts control,how to use thought,विचार नियंत्रण, सोचा कैसे उपयोग करें

The other day someone asked me, 
 How do I control my thoughts?

thoughts control,how to use thought,विचार नियंत्रण, सोचा कैसे उपयोग करें
thoughts control,how to use thought,विचार नियंत्रण, सोचा कैसे उपयोग करें

If I knew how to control my thoughts I'd surely be making inroads towards enlightenment!

Having said that I have learned to reduce the number of thoughts by not paying attention to every thought that transits through my head. 

Thoughts are like a crowded walkway. There is so much action on a busy path, yet we find our way and reach our desired destination. 

Just imagine if we started banging into everyone we met, we sure would end up black and blue and nowhere near our destination. 

POSITIVE THOUGHT,सकारात्मक सोच

We get through the road by finding the gaps amongst the people and winding our way through. We rarely bang into other people. We just continue on our journey focusing on the gaps. 

Similarly we have to find the pauses in between the thoughts. On an average we have 60, 000 thoughts a day. Just imagine taking each thought literally and going along with that thought. We would be a mess. If you were to concentrate more on the pauses and less on the thoughts, just like you would look more for the gaps than on banging into people, you will soon reach the road less traveled and a mind less cluttered.

Energy goes where attention goes. The more you focus on the pauses the lesser the hold of the thoughts. Just don't pay attention to the thoughts. Find the gaps and keep moving ahead. 


Sometimes you may meet a friend on the road and continue the rest of the journey with them. This is a bit like catching a positive thought. You can then go on with that thought for a while.
But sometimes you may start following your enemy or an
 ex :)
 and this will invariably lead to pain.

सकारात्मक सोच के लाभ,सकारात्मक सोच की शक्ति BENEFIT OF POSITIVE THINKING IN HINDI

A negative thought is the same -the more you get attached to it the more it takes you down a negative route.

You cannot fight thoughts - if you try, you end up fighting - you only can resist and walk away. Just refuse to play the game. Watch the thoughts without attachment or judgment and they will loosen their hold on you. :)

Inner conflict becomes outer conflict

The other day someone came up to me and asked me, why there is so much conflict in the world? I wish I knew the answer and I could make it all go away!

Every time there is an act of terror or violence, traditional and social media goes into a frenzy. Messages of love, hatred, vendetta, justice start to float around. 

It's heartbreaking and gut wrenching, but at the same time it does not  feel shocking anymore. Incessant, unrelenting news about these acts of terrorism and violence is desensitizing us towards the horror of the lives lost. We forget that these horrendous acts are wreaking havoc and there is an actual pain on all involved. 

Are conflict and violence the norm?

 Will we never see a conflict-free world?

History testifies to the fact that conflict is as old as humanity itself. Human history on Earth has suffered a very bloody past. Innumerable lives have been lost due to wars over territory, religion, ideologies, and greed. Having said that, we are actually living in the most peaceful times since the beginning of humanity. The reason we feel its the worst is because now we are more aware and informed. 

We have incredibly complex and powerful minds that are capable of creating our own reality. Everything that we see around us is a creation of our minds. The good, bad, beautiful and ugly; all was created in our mind before it manifested into reality. 

So will it ever be possible to live in a conflict free world? Or will it remain a dream?

Personally, I think dreams can become reality. Look around—Aldous Huxley's Brave New World is already a reality. If man can conquer  land, sea, and sky and now even other planets and the moon, get whatever information that is desired at the click of a button, then we can surely make inroads into a conflict free world.

Conflict in the outer world is nothing but a reflection of conflict in the inner world. Sadly we are constantly at war with our own inner selves. We are in conflict with our desires, our values, our projections, our ideologies, our belief systems, and our expectations. These inner conflicts lead to agitation of the mind, and an agitated mind is the cause of conflicts and violence. 

The answer to “Why there are so many conflicts in the world?” and “Will they ever end?” therefore lies right within us.

If we desire a conflict-free world we need to first establish a conflict-free mind. A mind that is at peace is a mind free from agitation and disharmony. A mind that is centered and connected is one that understands that divisions based on cast, creed, color, and nationalities are all creations of the mind and not real. The onus to reduce conflict, violence, and terrorism, therefore, lies in our own hands. Our thoughts, words, and actions will determine the kind of world we live in.

The theory of the observer effect states that particles exist in a state of probability until observed or measured. This means that the nature of particles could change according to the observer. 

I believe that whatever the observer chooses to focus on keeps showing up. With every thought we think, every word we speak and every act we undertake, we are partaking in the creation or destruction of our world.

Negative events put us in a state of fear and the media keeps adding to that fear, mistrust and anger. We all feel afraid and conflicted. We allow ourselves to get swayed by the competing ideologies that come blasting via information channels. We are in a constant state of distraction and agitation. We believe what we see and what we hear. We allow ourselves to be influenced by the outer world to such an extent that we don't even acknowledge our inner world. But the inner world is where creation happens.

In order to create a conflict free world, we need to create a conflict free mind: a mind that is free from fear and free from constant surges of “not enough-ness!” Not good enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not educated enough, and so on.

Allowing fear and disallowing truth have duped us into believing in a zero sum game. If I am right, someone is wrong, if I win, someone needs to lose. The Darwinian concept of survival of the fittest has permeated our psyche and too many want to survive at the cost of another.

Terrorists and perpetrators of political or religious violence lack self-confidence, self-love, and self-empathy and therefore look for validation from outside. 

If we don't get what we are looking for, we get angry and when someone comes along promising us acceptance, belonging, and love we feel validated. 

Now it becomes a question of us against them. If we are right, they must be wrong.  If only the strong can survive, I need to show strength; and in this desire to appear strong we forget that the only thing that matters is humanity. In our ignorance of truth we forget to see the interconnectedness of all living beings. We believe in territorial, racial, ideological and physical boundaries. We make ourselves smaller than who we really are and in our smallness we create conflicts of mind and body. 

The only way we can contribute to lessening the conflict is by first reducing our own inner conflicts, meditating on love, peace, and forgiveness toward ourselves. Once we focus on our own wellbeing we can become more secure with the opinions of others.

An agitated mind creates agitation in the outer world, which impacts all of us. Even though we are miles away physically, we are all connected. As long as there is pain and suffering anywhere in the world we will continue to suffer.

Each one of us has a moral obligation towards creating a brave new world. 

It’s a cliché that our world is technologically advanced but we have long way to go in terms of psychological and moral advancement. We need to live in a world where we see ourselves for who we really are. The sooner we recognize this truth, the sooner we can start to create a world that we really desire.

The ordinary in extraordinary.

The other day someone asked me to make a list of my achievements. I gave it some thought, infact a lot of thought and could not come up with anything extra ordinary. 
So my life has been a waste, I have not achieved anything that would make me stand out in a crowd and have people applaud my achievements. I am just one of the seven billion blips around the planet. The fact that I have done nothing extraordinary makes my life even more insignificant! Or does it???? 
A few years ago; a thought like this would have gotten me into a tailspin of sadness and possibly depression. I would have mulled over my insignificance and my lack of contribution to making this world a better place or even achieving any kind of personal goals. 
Today however; I feel absolutely comfortable in my ordinariness. If I can be kind, compassionate, empathetic, calm and peaceful towards myself and towards those around me, I think I have achieved extra ordinariness.

Why do we as a society only applaud the outliers? 

Why are we made to feel insignificant and small if we do not fit in the norm of what defines success? Why are financial achievements or attaining any kind of fame the only yardsticks of success?
Why are we always measured for our achievements and not for who we are? 

Would it not make better sense to be applauded for who we are? 

How our presence in itself is a miracle and how our very being is a part of the cosmic success. We are all insignificant in the grand scheme of things and yet each one of has significance. Every act and every thought has an impact on the collective consciousness.
 If we all indulged in the very ordinary acts with extra ordinary passion and commitment would it not be of significance?

 In any case why are we so concerned about how the world views us?

 Why do we need validation for our existence? 

Why is our self worth directly in proportion to our net worth?

We as a society are becoming immune to our own real nature. Our very nature is expansive and all encompassing. We are all making ourselves smaller than who we are by measuring ourselves through our achievements. No way am I underplaying the value of achieving extraordinary feats. I applaud the outliers for they have allowed the expansiveness of their being to shine through, where as most of us have not yet explored its full dimensions.
But having said that, I feel there is so much joy in being ordinary, being the best ordinary that I can be, keeping in mind that I am a part of this connected universe and every act and thought of mine will have a direct impact or the extra ordinariness of the cosmos. My one act of kindness could have a ripple effect and so can my one act of terror or pain. Think about the German Wings pilot who took down with him 150 other people. Think of the cumulative pain in those families. One persons act has had such an impact. His personal pain translated into a nationwide pain. People who are terrorized generally end up terrorizing others, people in pain usually give others pain and people in joy will generally bring joy. 
Would it not make sense for me to be joyful and happy in my ordinariness instead of being miserable in my extraordinary ness? Maybe this is my cop out for a lack of societal expected achievement, but I am comfortable being ordinary. I am comfortable being a stay at home mom, I am comfortable in my lack of significant financial achievement. I am comfortable with my failures and my mistakes. I am comfortable in my humanness. I feel pain when another hurts, I feel joy when someone rejoices. I may not have well defined goals but my life is not without purpose. I may not have five or ten year plans but my today has a lot of meaning. I may not have made a significant contribution in any field but I have made a significant inroad into my inner peace. I feel ordinarily extraordinary.

Practical freedom - "Who am I?" By Nithya shanti
The following process can calm the mind and free it from irrelevant thoughts. It can be applied in any situation and, with practice, becomes a habitual way of dealing effectively with disturbing or destructive thoughts. 

Please be guided by your intuition in its appropriate use.


1) State your thought/feeling/pain (out loud or to yourself).


I feel angry with John for calling me names.

This work is hard to do.

My toe is hurting because I stubbed it.

I am sad because Mary is not talking to me.

I am worried about my son/daughter.

This person annoys me with his/her bragging.

I am so depressed I feel l want to die.

2) Separate yourself consciously from your thought/feeling/pain by using the third person.


Who feels angry because John is calling her/him names? (Not: Callingme names). Remember, you need to separate from that part of you who feels angry, sad, hurt, etc. However, this separation is not a “pushing away” of that painful part. You need to focus on it without fear.

Who finds it hard to do this work?

Who feels a pain in his/her toe? (Concentrate on the pain while you say this.)

Who is sad because Mary is not talking to her/him?

Who is worried about his/her son/daughter?

Who is annoyed by this person’s bragging?

Who feels so depressed he/she wants to die?

3) Now become consciously that part of you who has that thought/feeling/pain; make sure that you concentrate, that you become the feeling, if you are aware of one (which is not necessarily the case), that you `breathe’ into it, and then say:

I do, or I am (whichever is grammatically correct).

4)Then, as that part of you who has the thought/feeling, say:


If the thought/feeling/pain is still there, start again, concentrating well.

If another thought/feeling/pain appears, repeat the process.


Never try to answer the question WHO AM I? by saying, for instance: “I am me”, or “I am Mary”, etc. The question does not apply to you as a person, but to that part of you that appears to have a problem. More often than not, no thought will surface after the question. The mind will be blank, which is what we want to achieve. Should a thought appear that has a heavy emotional load, i.e. upsets you more than you can handle on your own, picture the event in your mind as though you were watching it on a movie or TV screen. In other words, make it something that happened but not something you are going through now. This rarely occurs, and it is not an adverse reaction; on the contrary. Just make note of it so that it can be worked on further if it feels appropriate. But with constant practice, you will find that you can deal with it yourself, whatever it is. 

Familiarize yourself with this technique by using it anytime, anywhere. You may want to close your eyes so as to concentrate better, but this is not necessary, nor even advisable at times, to do so unless you are in a safe place. After a time, it becomes a natural reflex. The benefits that accrue can be remarkable.

The same technique can be used to anchor positive thoughts/feelings, like:

I feel peaceful

Who feels peaceful?

I do.

Who am I?

Make sure you focus/concentrate on, even become, the good feeling. See what happens!

At first, people appear confused by the way this technique works. I say to them: “Imagine that a tiger is entering this room. Would I ask you to say: `I am afraid of this tiger. 

Who is afraid?
 I am. Who am I?’ “

People invariably laugh and say: “Of course not! We would both escape through the window!”

I then pursue:

“Of course you would, because you would be facing a real danger and you would be experiencing a `Fear Fight Flight’ reaction caused by adrenaline pumping into your system (shallow and faster breathing, heart pumping faster, tightening diaphragm, etc.) The funny part is that you set off the same reaction with your thoughts, even when there is no real tiger threatening you. I call these thoughts `paper tigers’. In fact, you are literally scaring yourself to death… eventually.

With the Who Am I? technique, you challenge that part of your brain that causes these useless `Fear Fight Flight’ reactions. After a time, your subconscious learns not to react in such a wasteful manner to thoughts that are only the product of faulty coping mechanisms, of baseless belief systems, of conditioned reflexes, etc., etc.”


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