Marketing & Sales technique : A sale is a love affair by Jack Vincent

Marketing & Sales technique : A sale is a love affair by Jack Vincent 

Image of Jack Vincent
 Image of Jack Vincent | Image source : LinkedIn

 Sallie met Harry at a networking event

and Harry made a very good first

impression but don't they all Sally had

was new to town she had taken a job as

marketing communications director at an

international firm her first month or

two were very manic and very busy and at

one point she knew she had to get out

there and meet people in the community

so she showed up at the networking event

a little bit late and everyone was

already talking and her nerves were up a

little bit so she bought some time by

hanging up her coat then she went to the

bar and got a glass of chardonnay and

when she turned around there she was

alone in a room full of people already

engaged in speaking Harry spotted her

and he invited her into his group and he

introduced her to everybody and they

started a conversation very good

conversation about ten minutes or so

at which point Harry invited another

person into the group and introduced her

to Sally then he moved on to another

group and started circulating Sally kept

her eye on Harry throughout the evening

and she was in fact hoping that Harry

would circle back before the end of the

evening and sure enough as the crowd

started thinning out Harry came back to

her and he said you know I've been

thinking about something we were talking

about what do you think about a cup of

coffee near your office on Thursday

afternoon and Sally said what about a

glass of wine in town Thursday evening

well the wine date went very well and in

fact when it was over they were on the

sidewalk in front of the restaurant and

the last thing that happened was Sally

touched Harry's elbow and said I've got

a really good feeling about this and she

dashed off to catch her train out to the

suburbs to her husband and kids know

this was not the beginning of a romantic

affair this was the beginning of a sale

and Harry had done everything right

Harry was selling with love already

the primary fundamentals of a sale is

trust and he build it by sparking

interest and then engaging Sally in

something that she felt that she needed

love in business is not a new concept

Kevin Roberts CEO of Saatchi and Saatchi

worldwide wrote a book called love marks

and in it he said when a brand is so

powerful that it creates an emotional

connection in our hearts that is a love

mark Apple is a love mark for many

people the users of Apple not only love

the brand they spread the love in fact

some people actually don't like Apple

but that's okay by Apple just look at

their sales and look at their brand

strength getting people to love you is

not a dishonest objective in business to

fall in love with me

the problem is when you pick me up you

wind me you dine me and you sleep with

me will you call me afterwards in sales

it's even more face-to-face it's even

more interpersonal than brand resonance

in people's heart it's behavioral

it's mano a mano it's face to face and

customers know you want to get them to

love you but what they really want is

for you to love them because love is

part of building trust

and Trust is the biggest element in a

sale the idea for a sale is a love

affair actually happened in a sales

training workshop that I was leading and

it's a trainers goal not just to bring

new skills to your participants but to

embed them so that they use them

afterwards one of that concept is to

make it memorable so that they use it

immediately after so in the workshop

very senior sales people and we were

trying to build the concept of you are

the trusted advisor and we were working

on an exercise of what do you do when

the client starts to stall when they're

not communicating clearly what do you do

and the solution that the participants

came to was you need to probe you need

to ask those difficult questions

I'm sensing something's not working here

is there something that I should know

that I can help you are you facing any

obstacles internally what do I need to

know to help you now my mom said I

should have gone to theater school and I

should have been an actor okay because I

always go into these one-act plays and

in the workshop I then put on my best

american accent and i said well it's

like love you're not talking to me honey

we're not communicating baby I got to

know is something wrong

talk to me baby tell me what's going on

and that got a good laugh with the crowd

and what happened was it actually

morphed into our joke for the rest of

the 2-day workshop we always came back

to the link between love finding love

and finding clients and keeping love and

customer service it was to the point

that the women in the group also liked

it and one woman salesperson actually at

one point said when we were talking

about closing the deal she said hey I

don't have patience for that I say baby

we've danced we've had drinks you come

and back to my place or not so it was

catching you and after that the idea

stuck with me and I couldn't get it out

of my head now conversely sales tools

actually work in romance and some people

say oh that's crass

that's so commercial using sales skills

to find romance to which I say what is

so crass about sparking interest asking

questions listening solving problems

together well that's what good

salespeople do and it's my belief that

that's what good partners do as well and

it actually happened the book idea

actually happened in a period in my life

of which I had divorced and yes I was

out there in the dating market but it's

not just about me because there is a lot

of people divorcing and there are a lot

of people out in the dating market and

we're kind of like especially at my age

we're one big coaching family coach and

be coached and what I was finding was

that all of these things actually work

in romance too

the parallel between finding love is

similar to a complex sale and we know

how complex relationships are and

keeping love is like customer service

now at my age and before about ten years

ago men hit the wall at some point and

they go oh my god whether they lose a

job they lose a family member

something sparks in them that they say

what is my life purpose what am I doing


where am I going women tend to make

these little Corrections as they go men

have this thing called midlife crisis

that we don't like to talk about it and

it's kind of like my moms and dads

generation midlife crisis so if anybody

talks to me about the break at the break

about midlife crisis no please don't

okay all right okay but it is something

that does happen to all of us

and about ten years ago I hit that wall

and I did a lot of searching and I

into a lot of spirituality and Eastern

philosophy and things and one of the

first concepts when you're doing

spirituality is working on yourself it's

not about just meditating and saying wow

good feeling it's about there are some

things that I need to work on

forgiveness of myself before I can

really learn how to forgive others self

love and the heart feeds its self first

in a healthy relationship the heart not

only distributes blood to the rest of

the body

it needs blood it's a muscle it's an

organ that needs blood the brain doesn't

mind that the heart takes its commission

up front because if the heart had to

wait a hundred and twenty days for the

invoice to get paid everything would die

and the brain knows that the liver knows

that the muscles know that the heart

feeds itself first so in a healthy

relationship take care of yourself I

work with a lot of people who say

especially entrepreneurs and startups

I'm uncomfortable taking money off of

people but they want to make their

business run in all of this coaching of

love and romance people say you know I

just feel like I'm a pervert I I want a

relationship yeah I want sex but I want

it wrapped up in a human relationship

there's nothing wrong with that you're

whole you're good there's nothing wrong

with trying to build business

partnerships in with both parties add

value to each other yes you need money

to run your new company but you're a

partner in a business relationship

you're bringing value help that customer

find that you're good your whole be in

love with yourself it's okay

clients respect that as much as romantic

partners the New York Times had an

article about ten years ago about five

years ago called the me marriage is the

happy marriage strong partnerships

fire strong partners baby I love you and

one of the things I love about you is

that you let me be me that is a strong

relationship that is not a toxic

relationship and from that comes trust

love builds trust

Shakespeare was on to something and I

think if he was a marketing director

today it would be called your unique

selling point your USP your competitive

advantage david deida is a writer of

masculinity and spirituality and sex and


david data writes things about how to be

whole with yourself and how to live

happily in a partnership and get the

things that you need one of the

takeaways that I get from David data's

writings is your mission is important

your purpose in life is important your

relationship should support that not get

in the way of that because if it is if

it does you will regret it later and the

relationship will become toxic clients

feel the same way now back in the times

when sailors would go off to sea and the

town would come down to the harbor and

the women would be saying don't go don't

go you may die in the ocean and perish

those sailors who said I have to defend

the homeland or I have to trade

economically to bring business to our

community it's my mission I have to go

they knew that they may die at war they

may crash in a storm they may get drunk

and puke overboard and fall into the

water but those that came home were

loved by the community and by their

women and those who stayed were peeling

potatoes to thine own self be true and

it shall follow as the light followed

darkness that thou shalt not be false to

any other now early in a sale it's

incumbent to take my breath away

it's very emotional early in a sale

emotions sell after that things get

complicated and things get more rational

but early in the sale there needs to be

something for me to go wow I think we

need these people Wow and it's like a

love affair early in a sale emotions are

only provoked through simplicity lion

walks out of the brush and looks at you

and says lunch you know you've got a


you're not thinking should we refinance

the house you've got one thing and

that's very compelling in a sale as

rational as business can be in a sale go

for something that's going to inspire

them simplicity you might lose it later

in the deal but if you don't grab them

early you're not going to progress

anyway it's like a relationship take my

breath away there was something about

the way she looked at me at the school

concert and then I learned she was

divorced ah take my breath away you're

opening a relationship you're not

closing a sale who has loved who has not

loved at first sight Shakespeare again

now the purpose of opening is to get

that emotional connection but then

they're earned the right to ask

questions asking good questions and

listening is one of the most underrated

trust builders at different stages of

the sale there may be different

questions you should ask but listening

builds trust well how do you do it by

asking good questions prompting for the

concerns handling the objections and

building solutions together they say in

relationships that women need to be

listened to men need to feel important

and in business everyone wants to be

understood listening is the most

underrated skill now Chlo

using a deal is easy if everything has

gone well I was once working with the

London media firm and early on in our

assignment we were briefing being

briefed by the CEO and the CFO the chief

marketing officer and you could feel the

testosterone in the room as they said

and they lowered their voice and we need

closers our salespeople need to close

and when we started talking to the

salespeople we went back to the CEO and

CMO two weeks later and said your people

are so are our closers they know how to

ask for the deal the problem is things

happening earlier in the deal are not

satisfactory and by asking and pushing

too hard for the deal pushing this kills

trust the buyer wants to feel in control

- and by you saying do you want in green

or do you want it in red how many should

we put in if they're not ready for it

it's not going to happen I will never

forget my closing line that was yin yang

my most memorable clothes that I ever

did in a sale was this that was it the

buyer was showing all of the signals you

could see the wheels turning the body

language and all the signals were yeah

there wasn't anything more I could say

to get that person to buy and she looked

at me and she said Jack let's do this I

imagine you're going to send me a

contract as a next step now if any of

you have seen the movie hitch the love

doctor in which Will Smith is coaching

some pretty pathetic guys when it comes

to handling relationships at one point

he says you don't ask a woman if you can

kiss her just kiss her like I said

really is that all it is and he goes

well it's a little more subtle than that

move 90 percent of the way put yourself

in a position to be kissed but let her

lean ten percent into it because she

wants to feel in control to the best

salespeople in any industry are loved by

their clients they have self-love they

have confidence they give love they ask

good questions they listen and they

build solutions together doesn't that

work in romance too it's all about trust

and it's all about understanding Harry

did everything right that evening he did

everything right at the wine bar and he

actually did everything right when Sally

introduced him to his managers he also

found love this way we know that the

more you give the more you get in

romance and in sales poets have written

about it.

Who is Jack Vincent 

Founder - S.C.O.R.E© Selling Method

Lucerne, Lucerne, Switzerland 

The S.C.O.R.E. Selling Method: Sell More Effectively in Five Key Steps.
I help sales teams and solopreneurs win new business and secure happy customers.

Author of "A Sale Is A Love Affair - Seduce, Engage & Win Customers' Hearts," the Number 1 New Release in Sales on amazon in February 2015.

Keynote Speaker and Master of Ceremonies at major conferences and corporate events.

Blogger at

 Jack Vincent  been called a poet in a business suit. He's crashed and burned more than once in romance... and more than once in sales. In both areas, he's picked himself up, dusted himself off and, after trials and tribulations, found success. At 56, he's found the love of his life and has coached others in love. He's also a successful sales advisor and trainer whose second book is entitled, "A Sale Is A Love Affair - What Salespeople and Lovers Can Learn From Each Other."

Jack is convinced that the future of sales is love: Loving your customers and getting them to fall in love with you; and that the future of love is sales: Using the same "soft skills" of great salespeople when finding and managing romantic relationships.

Jack's main message draws upon the parallels of romance and salesmanship. You have to treat every business deal like a romance, which involves courting, love, and mutual understanding. Through humor and personal experience, Jack details how every good sale follows the 'rules of romance'.

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